Keep it simple, D.I.

I really don't mean to complain about the Daily Illini for a second time, but I suppose it's easier to find fault in student publications than in something like the New York Times.

What does ekes mean?

Can you tell me off the top of your head?  If so, then I'm impressed.

"Stimulus bill ekes through Senate vote" was a headline on the front page of the DI today.

I vaguely remember learning something in my Intro to Journalism class about making stories and headlines "reader-friendly", especially considering that the majority of people who actually pick up a paper just the headlines, with some sad, dwindling statistics of those who read the lede, nut graf, et-cetera.

I didn't even read the story.  The headline was a big turn-off to my attention span.  The fact that I had to search Merriam-Webster Online to make sense of the headline was unnecessary and annoying, quite frankly.

Sorry, I'll end the suspense for those who still don't know what the word means:

Eke

Function:  transitive verb

Inflected Form(s): eked; ek-ing

1. archaic: increase, lengthen

2. to get with great difficulty-- usually used with out <eke out a living>

Daily Illini posts confusing sports headline

This was the first thing I saw at www.dailyillini.com this morning:

"UPDATE: Zook lands signing day commits in Hopkins, Hawthorne"

I'm sure there is a better headline than this. How did Coach Zook get this signing day? The first clause is a run-on. After re-reading this a few times, I believe that the editor was trying to say that Zook committed to two players, Hopkins and Hawthorne.

The headline is difficult to read and understand, and I'm sure that a colon or semi-colon belongs between "day" and "commits", or some other kind of clarification of what the point is. Even the subhead would have made a better headline: "Five-star linebacker Jenkins chooses Florida over Illini."

The story that follows is short and simple. The reporter talks about four high school athletes who were targets for the Illini and have now made final decisions of where to attend college and play football.

This is probably the first sports story I've read entirely in years. Sports confuse me, so the last thing I needed was a headline that did too.

Here's the full link to the story